As I approach my half birthday, I feel it necessary to acknowledge some recently discovered truths that I cannot avoid as this milestone comes speeding towards me. Now, at risk of offending some of my older readers (hey mum) who on a calender are slightly (some substantially) older but feel like a million bucks and don't wish to hear a 21 and almost a half year old ranting off about old age, unfortunately this crisis is more related to the failing state of my body rather than a paper age and a sense of paranoia. So let me begin by saying:
It seems that after years of moderate - heavy (student/backpacker) paced drinking, the ole cuerpo seems to be having a much harder time in the morning after. Not only that, the entire day after, that night and several days afterwards seem to be very slow moving after a big night out. Not only that, it seems that once I hit a certain alcohol threshold, rather than partying on, doing silly things and talking shit all night, I just go home. Whether that happens at 3am, 1am or even midnight, that young person stamina just isn't there anymore. It is not uncommon for me in my old age now to fall asleep IN THE MIDDLE of a party, be it in a chair, on a couch, on the floor or right next to the speaker, it seems my body has gotten the better of me. For that reason, I decided to test out the ole non drinking routine to see if it might just the the dirty Mexican licor de agave, however, the only difference these days is that I can stay out dancing for longer and I generally manage to WALK home rather than passing out wherever I am. The next day still feels like I have been hit by a truck and the getting out of bed process is still slow, painful and often resigned to a long sleep in at the best of times. But will this stop me partying? Hell no! I am still young enough to want to party! My body just isn't anymore.
But it's not only the partying stamina that has dropped, but the fitness as well. So even in spite of doing yoga a few times a week, it seems all I feel like doing afterwards is eating a big fuck off steak and some chocolate and lying down for a few hours, rather than running a marathon, going for a bike ride or doing anything active. Also, certain poses leave me feeling achy and slow for a day or 2 afterwards, after a STRETCHING WORKOUT!! As for real exercise, well after a bit of rock climbing the other day I was in pain for 2 days afterwards when I tried to lift my arms above my head! And as for climbing a mountain, one leg is STILL hurting 4 days later (how I walk so that only one leg hurts is any one's question). I think that is a pretty big body fitness fail if I ever did see one. But I keep persisting, because many chronologically old people tell me that exercise is the key to eternal youth (or a younger man, or surgery and drugs) and I want to be one of those creepily active and healthy grannies when the time rolls around (not too long now).
But all old people will tell you that it is not only the body that begins to fail in old age, but the mind as well. Granted I have never really had a particularly strong or in shape body, so I have always just relied on the fact that I have a relatively sharp mind to make me feel good about myself. But now as I approach old age, NO SUCH LUCK BUDDY! Although the days of memorisation is schools is all but gone, a first year subject this year that FORCES memorisation as the primary learning activity has thrown into sharp realisation that my ticker isn't as quick as it used to be. Turns out simple memorisation tasks leave me feeling dumb as a doorknob and that the ease with which my intellect once worked is all but a thing of the past.
So now with my brain and body gone, I have two options, shall I grow old gracefully and accept that I am no longer 18 anymore? Or shall I buy every cream on the market, drugs, supplements, younger man, healthy lifestyle, never drink again and fight this motherfucker and restore my vitality to its previous self. At least now being old means that I am wise and have experience and many stories to tell, not to mention a load of knowledge bombs to drop on the young and impressionable youth of today who ARE still able to drink until 5am and do an exam that same day. Growing old is a part of life, so what if I am a 21 year old granny, I can still fight it until I am the weird old lady who still parties hard with kids, why not!
As for the wrinkles... DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED!!!
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