Warm and Sunny Beach Times in Acapulco

So as most of you probably know, I am a person who could somewhat be described as a floater (not of the poo variety, more of the plank of wood at sea variety) so the past weekend in my true floater style I attached myself to travel plans to visit Acapulco. Some of you may have heard of Acapulco in the news lately. Not long ago 35 people were decapitated and their heads thrown away (atta boy Mexico... slaughtering the masses in style!), and as it so happened, the past weekend were elections for the new Governor. And doesn't it sound like a true shit show in the making! Of course nothing super bad went down, and except for a bit of police corruption on the drive in (honestly Pendejo Policeman, NOBODY follows the road rules in Mexico... get a real job), it was a very relaxing weekend.

In saying that it was a very FULL weekend! Oh yes, for somebody whose daily routine consists of about 15 hours of sleep, 4 hours of drinking and 5 hours of fuck all, it was a shock to the system. For one, we woke up at 4am to leave Mexico City for Acapulco (and you can guess what I was doing for the duration of that 4 hour trip!). When we arrived it was straight into the boat for a paddle across to the island.

Oh yeah, did I mention that Acapulco is beautiful, sunny, HOT and awesome! Suck on that everyone who was stuck in the cold on the weekend. So after a hard paddle (and winning the race of course!) we hiked our way up through the forest to the lighthouse and an AMAZING view that was worth the physical exertion that had until then been foreign to me for a very long time. And it was the first time I really sweat in a long time (not in a gross pits, too unfit to walk to class kind of way but a humid hot sweat!), and it was awesome!

So by this stage it was only 11am and we had a whole day to fill. And we certainly filled it to the brim. We headed over to the beach (well.. another beach! Acapulco has HEAPS of beaches), this one that we went to had less 60 something ugly people and cellulite and more of a chilled out vibe. And the awesome thing about Mexico is being allowed to drink on the beach! Imagine a cold Corona in hand while frolicking in the sand and not at all missing the freezing winter climate of Puebla! Well... I am told that its not exactly legal to drink in public in Mexico, but basically nobody really gives a toss because they have bigger fish to fry (like drug trafficking, mad decapitators and all of society's evils that Juan Rulfo likes to point out like the cynical bastard that he is).

But I digress. Who is that fat chick you ask? Well its actually me looking very pineappley indeed, with a Corona in hand of course and no less than at least 5 or 6 chins to add to the picture. And even 3 showers later I am still finding sand in cracks and crevices that I didn't know was there. And so we watched the sun set over the Pacific whilst calculating how long it would take to swim to Australia (answer: a very long fucking time) and finishing off some very fishy enchilladas. And of course the fun didn't stop there! I told you it was a full day! So on we went to La Quebrada which is a giant cliff over the ocean. We watched the light show and the movie-cita on the rock face before watching something beautifully horrifying. Watching very nicely toned men diving off a cliff in DTs/Speedos/Sungas I expected to see blood, a few cracked skulls and horrifying shrieks as they defied gravity and every law of nature to perform feats of diving that shit all over the crap at the Olympics any day (and 4 times a day too!)

And the night didn't end after La Quebrada. Next stop was the nightlife strip! Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately for our livers and wallets) the city had implemented (for one special night only) LEY SECA! Which basically meant draconian like alcohol regulations for the bars and nightclubs of Acapulco (which WERE actually followed unlike the majority of regulations in Mexico) to hopefully avoid any violence at the elections the following day. While clubs pumping out David "what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-this-country" Guetta were tempting, it was the NO COVER sign on the Karaoke Bar (and the simple fact that karaoke is AWESOME) that reeled us in. Mind you, my karaoke bar visits have been all too frequent during my time in Mexico and I am well aware that I should probably find a new hobby; however it didn't stop us from blasting out the favourites such as ABBA, I Will Survive as well as a number of songs in Spanish that I will probably never remember. And so concluded day 1 of our journey to Acapulco. By this stage I was absolutely rooted (despite the power naps I managed in the car in between places) and I was glad to have a comfortable bed to curl up in.

The next perfect day started at the much more reasonable hour of 10am with a family breakfast of cow stomach soup (which was surprisingly not all that bad as it may sound!). After (almost) polishing off my plate it was off to the fort/museum to learn a bit more about Acapulco that the bars and beaches. Being Sunday it was free entrance for Mexicans, and since the guard was clearly blind and or deaf I cruised on in without a second glance! The fort not only had a WICKED view but an entire section dedicated to the history of pirates, which was: AWESOME! After enjoying the (free) museum and the history of almost all facets of Mexican history (briefly) we headed back for a family lunch before heading down to the beach again. There we enjoyed the cotton candy, the sunset over the ocean (again!) and getting some final sun in so that I wouldn't return to Puebla looking albino as normal.

Finally, to finish off what was a fun weekend full of action excitement and awesome people we headed up to the lookout to see the lights of Acapulco from above. From there we fattened ourselves up with 1kg of amazing taco meat (between 4 people thank you very much!) from the rotisserie dripping with fat and hot sauce and everything good in the world. Of course no long weekend is complete without a super early morning rise and the journey back, battling through Monday morning traffic. But was it worth it? Shit yahhh!