I hate Hipsters

Hipsters are nothing new. Their narcissism, repulsion to anything mainstream and condescending and pretentious natures are common elements held by hipsters all over the world, from Mexico to Seattle (arguably the birthplace of the hipster fad) and even to Brisbane. Although hipsterism in Brisbane is probably not a recent thing, heck, Brisbane does eventually succumb to the fashion trends of the cooler more socially progressive cities, and it was only ever going to be a matter of time before hipsters started popping up in large groups. Last night I ventured into the Valley for the first time since being back in this lovely city and the scene shocked me. All through the Brunswick St Mall, in clubs and bars which I remember as being quite down to earth, unpretentious and CHEAP were poor imitations of what was once different and cool.

Unfortunately, Brisbane is not so much as a trend-setting city as much as a fashion following location, and of course the fashion of the moment is alternative fashion. Which once upon a time meant different and unique style, something that wasn't found in every other chain store in any given mall in whatever part of the world you happened to be in. But it seems that clothing which would have been scoffed at only 5 years ago by the fashionistas has been picked up by marketers and flogged to the world, and sold to the young boys and girls as alternative. After all, who doesn't want to think that they are trendy and unique? The fashion following youth of the Valley can now call themselves 'cool' after having dropped a lot of money in Universal Store for some alternative and different rags from everyone else, and cool people are allowed to carry that little extra chip on their shoulder for being so unique. They are unique, anti-trend-following hipsters, and we normal people should give them some credit for their creativity.

I will however concede that blind fashion followers are nothing of a new thing, and to pay out on every fashion forward filly would be a huge over-generalisation. The issue comes when fashion houses and the media are selling alternativism as a trend. What a person wears, realistically is only the tip of the iceberg. When people develop the idea that they are the unique trendsetters, they tend to become conceited and up-themselves. So exist hipsters, a cynical and naive brand of degenerates whose narcissism is manifested through a sense of self-idolisation and derision for anything considered mainstream. Hipsterism is marketed in such a way that hipsters don't consider themselves mainstream, nor followers of a trend, but as rather unique and alternative. The mentality that comes from this trend is essentially the issue (rather than the horrible glasses or ridiculous fashion) and makes me shudder when I realise truly how dumb some people are.

Once upon a time there were people who dressed differently. They were creative, bold and daring and wore their hearts and beliefs on their sleeves, even though they were mocked for their silly style. (I am totally not talking about myself here, anyone who knows me is quite aware that I am one of the most unfashionable people in the world). These days, people are trying to one-up each other with their most extravagant pieces and establish themselves as the most alternative hipster of them all. Fashion is about shock value and has created a mentality where a person defines themselves by how different and un-mainstream they can be. That is not to say that alternative and different is bad, heck, I respect and admire creative and bold people who aren't afraid to go a bit further; however I do roll my eyes when 'alternative' comes from the new-look racks of Queen St Mall in the arms of a smug little hipster berating her retarded friends on their "totally mainstream" life choices.


HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR FRIEND IS A HIPSTER (or yourself)

#1
They use mainstream and well-known as insults when referring to music, fashion, ideas, people etc.

#2
They have never been much of a risk-taker when it comes to new things, but now they are constantly trying to out-dress and out-do anyone who could potentially be more alternative than them.

#3
They are condescending, arrogant and not particularly pleasant to be around.

#4
Their (normally mainstream) taste has changed rapidly, they did not 'get into' sub-culture gradually, rather their record collection and wardrobe almost changed overnight.

#5
They don't need glasses but they suddenly have big, tacky, obnoxious ones planted on their face. Purely for show. Because they are so different and cool.

If you find your friend has become a hipster, don't be alarmed. Approach them with caution. Hipsters are like members of hard-core religious cults, they have been brainwashed so comprehensively that any opposition to their blind consumerism will be completely wasted on them. Rather, sit down and gently explain to them that they are one of many suckers who have been taken in by the media-driven belief that buying lensless raybans will make them unique and cool. Encourage them to be true to themselves and follow their judgement and taste, rather than the shopfront mannequins in expensive, sifted 'vintage' stores. If they are not entirely vapid and conceited and they are still relatively pleasant to be around, just try to ignore their hipsterness and just wait for the next trend to roll in. It should only be another year or so. Or until stores have sold all of their fixed-gear bikes and fringed boots.

You know what is hipster? Writing a post about how much you hate hipsters and their commercialised alternativism. So basically, 21 year old me who wrote this tripe was a retarded hipster. No. A hipster hater. Which makes me the most hipster of them all.

If I could forget this rant I would, but for posterity I think it's always good to reflect on how stupid you were once upon a time.